Theories of Love

Maslow's Hiearchy of Love

Abraham Maslow was an American psychologist who lived from April 1, 1908 to June 8, 1970. Maslow is known for his theory of needs, it is his conceptualization of a "hierachy of human needs." Maslow believed that we all strive for Self-actualization, which includes things such as morality, creativity, spontaneity, problem solving, lack of prejudice, and acceptance of facts. Self-actualization is the fifth and highest level that we could hope to achieve based on his theory. Maslow's theory is that in order to get to this highest of levels, we must meet the most basic of needs beginning with the most basic of needs, our Psychological needs.

Our Psychological needs consist of breathing, food, water, sex, sleep, homeostasis, and excretion. Once our Psychological needs have been met, we can then advance to the second level of his hierachy, which is Safety. Our Safety needs include security of body, of employment, of resources, of morality, of family, of health, and of property. Once our need for Safety has been met, we can advance upward to the third level, which is the need for Love/Belonging. The need for Love/Belonging includes friendship, family, and sexual intimacy. Once our need for Love/Belonging has been met we can then progress to the fourth level of his hierarchy of needs, Esteem. The need for Esteem includes self-esteem, confidence, achievement, respect of others, and respect by others. Maslow's theory is that after these lower levels have been met and only after, may we progress to the final level of his hiearchy of need...Self-actualization.

Based on this theory, need for Love/Belonging is preceeded by our basics Psychological needs and our need for Safety. Once we have met our need for love, then we progress to Esteem and finally Self-actualization. Many people all over the world aren't even able to meet their basic psychological need for food, so in their eyes, they aren't even seeking love, so the last things on their mind would be Self-actualization. Others are so in fear and unable to get past the Safety level that Esteem is not even a thought. So...yes, Love is very important and once this need has been met, we will then be able to progress to higher levels of respect for ourselves and others and even higher levels above that, but our basic needs must be met first before we can even open up our minds to the posibility of all else that exists.

You can put this information into practice by better knowing your environment and those in them. For instance, have you met someone who is extremely grumpy, or constantly unhappy and you just couldn't figure out why? Maybe they have a nice car or other great materials...and you just couldn't put a finger on why they never seem to be happy. Maybe they aren't meeting one or more of their needs as described by Maslow. Maybe they are in a relationship, but one that is unfulfilling. Maybe their safety needs are not being met. Maybe, they are seeking a love match and are unable to move to the next level of the hierarchy. Next time instead of simply seeing the obvious look beneath the obvious and you just might see the true picture.